Sugar and Spice (Not Everything's Nice)
by thought x crime
Summary: My response to Zellybaby's challenge; a variation of the original script to fit a *very* unlikely couple!


"Sugar and Spice (Not Everything's Nice)" - by Allora Atwater  
  
A/N: This is a response to Zellybaby's challenge! Not very long or involved, but this is the way I'm bringing Seifer and Selphie together... some slight plot changes in order to give them more... time on screen together. *lol* Um, and I don't remember exactly what they say, so I'm just gonna wing it here... Alright, here it is! R&R please!  
  
Disclaimer: ...(Dr. Ruth voice) Final Fantasy 8 is a product of Squarsoft, and hereby does not belong to the author. No animals were harmed in the making of this fic.  
  
Her brown mop of hair bounced in accordance with her jaunty steps as she raced towards a steep slope, panting slightly and wiping the beads of sweat from her brow. Apparently childish exuberance clouded her better judgement and common sense as she plunged down the hill, toppling head over heels to the ground with no more than a squeaky protest. Struggling to her knees, she clumsily brushed the stray locks of chestnut from her eyes, scanning the terrain with a huff of disappointment; she must've just missed the squad! Her leader would be very distraught if she failed to deliver his message. Resolute, she hopped to her feet and dusted off her skirt, taking a flying leap off the cliff and landing neatly in crouch position.   
  
Ahead was the Dollet TV Tower, large and commanding in her eyes as she took a brief moment to admire it's massive height. Out of the corner of her vision, she noticed a commotion at the entrance. It appeared to be a brawl of some sort. She drew her nunchaku and cautiously approached the vicious battle, dodging a soldier whose body was flung mercilessly in her direction. Wide-eyes accompanied a swiftly beating heart as a hand flew to her chest in fright. Her head swung around to meet the complacent glower of the blue-eyed boy before her.  
  
She would've blushed, if not for her awkward situation then for his astonishing good looks, but she was not the type of girl to get flustered like that. She scratched the back of her head.   
"Are you the Squad B leader? I'm Selphie Tilmitt..."  
His hard stare bored into her, and Selphie felt her knees go weak. He raised a thick eyebrow inquisitively, a cocky sneer playing on his lips.  
"I'm Seifer Almasy and I believe I'm the man you're looking for."  
No kidding, she thought wryly. Booyaka! He's gorgeous!  
"Woo-hoo! I thought I missed you! I'm from Squad A and my leader had a message for you--"  
"Yaaaaaaaah!"  
  
Selphie swiveled on a heel, startled and slightly amused at the sight of a spiky-haired blond punk tumbling down the hill, a more collected boy landing cleanly on his feet behind the former. She recognized the latter of the two as the stuffy young man who showed her around the Garden earlier that day. He's cute too, she surmised, but kinda lacks the charisma I'm looking for. Besides, he didn't seem to be too interested in much else but whatever was going on in his own head. She preferred spontaneity as opposed to a brooding intellect. And besides, she mused with a slight grin, this Seifer Almasy character would give that boy a run for his money any day!  
  
"Hey!" Selphie was distracted for a minute, waving down the dark-haired boy. "I remember you! You showed me around today! Thanks -- I don't get so lost anymore!"  
"Hey," Seifer barked from behind them. "We don't got much time here -- we gotta keep these soldiers from reaching the communications system. We'll deal with the touching reunion later!"  
He disappeared into the tower, gray trenchcoat trailing behind him, gunblade cocked and ready for combat. Not a moment later, intrusive gunshots reverberated off the walls inside. Swinging her nunchaku in a small vote of confidence, Selphie chased after him, leaving both of the other boys bereft in the wake of confusion.  
"Wait for me!"  
  
Unbeknownst to the little messenger girl, she ran straight into the line of fire, a bullet whizzing past her skirt. Yikes! she squeaked internally. I forgot that those darn Galbadians were armed with machine guns! Squall and Zell rushed in right after her, pausing to acknowledge Seifer. The blond gunblade specialist was busy fending off several soldiers, parrying one of their swords with his own blade and countering a shot with a quick blast of Fire. They took it as a cue to proceed, but not before Squall turned and touched Selphie's hand.  
"You can have Quezacotl for this. I'm sure you'll need him." Selphie nodded a quick thanks and stocked a few Cures from a nearby Galbadian. Squall and Zell were already in the elevator, undoubtably on a mission to halt any G-soldiers from activating the system above.   
  
She turned to encourage Seifer with her undying optimism, but was cut short by a Galbadian with one hell of a machine gun trained at the middle of her forehead. She swallowed audibly, emerald eyes betraying a hint of anxiety. The gun landed on the ground with a clatter, followed by the soldier in question.  
"Watch out!" Seifer snapped impatiently, and Selphie nearly stuck out her tongue, if not for the soldier appraoching her from behind.  
"Kyaah!" she yelped, slamming the man square in the face with her nunchaku. She drew a few Thunders from him and finished him off with a previously stored Blizzard. Seifer busily fended off two men at a time, and Selphie thought she owed it to him to join in the fun. Swinging the nunchaku to build momentum, Selphie braced herself and ran towards one soldier, bringing her weapon down harshly across the back of his skull. The distraction allowed Seifer enough leeway to slash down the other man with one fuild movement.  
  
"Not bad." he regarded her coolly, the back of his hand trailing over his forehead. "Not bad at all. Of course, not as good as me, but I wasn't expecting any miracles."  
"You'd be surprised." she replied, hunched over with her palms pressed against her thighs, gasping for air. She straightened herself out with a deep breath and gestured towards the elevator. "Y'think we ought to join them up there?"  
At length, Seifer stretched his long arms over his head, sighing in a leisurely fashion.   
"I suppose we ought to." he agreed indifferently. She walked beside him, noting the scar that graced his handsome visage. Soft fingers brushed against the faint trail, and he swatted them away as soon as they dared invade. "Where'd you get that from?"  
"You mean you don't know?" he half-laughed, flashing her a 'where-have-you-been?' look.   
"In case you failed to pay attention, I just transferred here from Trabia. I don't even know the way to my own dorm, much less any personal secrets in the rumor mill. So spill already."  
"Figures." Seifer mumbled. "I was training with Puberty Boy up there --" he jerked his index finger towards the top of the tower. "--and I got a little trigger happy with the gunblade. I gave him a nice gash across the face and he returned the favor."  
"No wonder!" Selphie snapped her fingers, letting Seifer board the elevator first. The doors slid closed behind them and a little blue light flashed, indicating that they were travelling up. "So that's where the other guy got his scar! How cool!"  
  
He leaned against the railing, arms folded across his chest defiantly.  
"Cool?" he smirked, a tinge of amusement twinkling in his oceanic gaze. "I guess so, if that's what grills your cheese."  
"Grills your cheese?" Selphie snorted, succumbing to a fit of giggles. "What kinda expression is that?"  
"You know," Seifer defended. "Some people say 'whatever floats your boat'. It's a variation. I say 'whatever grills your cheese'."  
"Thanks for the lecture," she remarked dryly, twining a lock of hair around her finger. "You like to be different huh?"  
"I like to be an individual." he scoffed in return, looking a wee bit annoyed with her barrage of questions. "Doesn't everyone?"  
She shrugged, hopping up and down a little to get her adrenaline pumping. "I dunno. Seems like if everyone does it, it defeats the purpose of trying to be different. You all try and be unique and end up just being the same."  
The elevator made a small beeping noise, informing its passengers that they had arrived at the top of the tower. Seifer didn't respond to Selphie's seemingly uncharacteristic observation. Instead, he turned his attention to Squall and Zell, unsuccessfully attempting to ward off a hideous winged beast.   
"Ugh, that's an Elvoret!" Selphie nudged Seifer harshly in the ribs. "C'mon, we gotta go help them out!"  
The blond boy rolled his eyes in irritation. "Who do I look like, Superman?"  
"Nope, I was thinking more along the lines of Mr. Ed." she tossed over her shoulder sweetly. She tried to get a rise out of him on purpose, so his spirits would be ready for battle and he could take out his aggression on the Elvoret. Selphie drew and cast Double on herself, proceeding to perform a Double-Cure on Squall and Zell.  
"Sure, it's all cute for you to talk like you don't have a brain until I shove this gunblade up your --" he decided not to finish his mumbled curse and instead flourished said blade, preparing for a clever back attack.   
  
The Elvoret grew befuddled, indecisive about which pair it should attack. Selphie cast a Double-Fire on him, which didn't do much damage. Elvorets had high spirit levels and could withstand large amounts of magical infliction. Selphie stamped a foot in frustration, watching as Squall fired his gunblade and Zell complimented the action with a swift uppercut.   
"Quezacotl!" she yelled, and waited for the thunder god to emerge. Great! she thought, her patience straining. I knew I should've built up my compatibility with this GF when we were down fighting the G-soldiers. Now I have to sit pretty until bird-boy decides to show up!  
"Watch and learn, messenger girl." Seifer snarled, a dangerous glint in his eye. He leapt forward and swung his blade, the cold steel ripping across the monster's scarlet flesh. Violet blood oozed from the wound and Selphie curled her upper lip in disgust.  
  
Quezacotl chose that moment to present himself, spiraling up in the air and spreading his massive golden wings. His head reared back, collecting energy, and lunged forward with a vicious snap, electricity encompassing the much smaller beast. The Elvoret writhed beneath the white-hot lightning, throwing it's head back to screech and howl in pain. Quezacotl sank back to his little hidey-hole, and the Elvoret fell to the ground, disappating upon contact.  
  
"Nice job!" Zell congratulated her, eyes wide with admiration. Selphie was pleased; at least one of them appreciated her skills! Squall neglected to thank either her or Seifer for coming to the rescue when things were turning sour. Oh well, Selphie supposed that was just his way. He brushed past her and headed for the control panel.   
"What is it?" Selphie asked, jumping back a little as Zell whirred past her as well.   
"Biggs activated something before he summoned that Elvoret." Squall replied, brow furrowed in apprehension.  
"Uh oh." Zell's darkened admission came just in time for a low rumbling sound near the bottom of the tower.  
"Uh oh is right." Selphie agreed, walking back towards Seifer. She peered at him through the strands of hair that partially obscured her vision. Admittedly, she had only known him for a grand total of about 40 minutes, but already she felt fond of him. There was a lot more to him then he let on, and he had a certain energy that radiated from deep within his soul. It sparked something in her own, something that made her feel powerful and confident. His presence was almost liberating in a way, because it seemed to be a constant battle of wits and egos. She liked him, and she demonstrated that by giving him a jab in the side.  
"Hey!" he hissed, clutching his offended midsection. Selphie stuck her tongue out.  
"Biggs activated a bomb." Squall informed them matter-of-factly, Zell looking a little more squeamish beside him. "We have 30 minutes to completely evacuate the tower."  
"Doesn't sound like such a big deal." Seifer shrugged. He turned to Zell. "You wet your pants yet?" he asked calmly, as if he were asking for the time of day.  
"You bastard!" Zell shot back indignantly, waving his fists in an inane show of threat and promise. Seifer waved it off.   
  
Selphie spoke up. "I was informed by my squad leader that all SeeDs and SeeD candidates are to withdraw at 1900 hours and assemble at the shore."  
Seifer prodded her roughly. "So let's get a move on! I ain't gonna dawdle around and get blown into oblivion cause we had to analyze our next move. I'm the squad leader, and I say we get the hell outta here!"  
No one raised a hand against his judgement, and ran for the elevator. Seifer went first, pulling Selphie with him.  
"Yo!" Zell pounded his fists against the door, attempting to pry it open. Squall just shook his head wearily, putting a hand on Zell's shoulder to ease his nerves.  
"That was so rude!" Selphie cried in outrage as the elevator began its descent. She smacked him across the shoulder, and for a second, he looked as if he might actually hit her back. She winced in anticipation of a blow, and he rewarded herwith a puzzled expression.   
"I wouldn't hit a girl." he told her, the reality of her fear dawning on him. "No need to flinch like a sacred rabbit."  
"That's sexist." Selphie replied with a gentle smirk.  
"Sexist? That I wouldn't hit a girl?"  
"Uh huh." she nodded. "You act like I couldn't take you."  
His mocking laughter rang in her ears. "I got news for you, little Trabian messenger girl: it isn't being sexist. It's called having morals. And it would violate my morals to hit a member of the female gender."  
"Well how come it doesn't violate your morals to leave your friends behind?" she questioned, patting her hair down. Quezacotl's Thunder Storm ability had a few effects on her, including the frizz factor in her light brown mane.  
"They aren't my friends." he retorted, brushing the nonexistant dust off of his sleeve.  
"No wonder." Selphie answered knowingly. "I wouldn't be friends with someone who calls me names either."  
"Watch it." his voice was low. She brightened up at his feral warning.  
"But it's nice to know you decided to take me with you. Why is that?" she peered up at him, hands clasped behind her back. "Huh? Could it be because you like me?"  
Don't I just wish, she sighed internally, playing with the thought a little. There was plenty of time for that get-to-know-you crap. She just couldn't help herself at the moment. Between his egocentric half-track mind and his boyish charm, Selphie felt completely infatuated. She had a knack for the bad boys back in Trabia, but none of them even compared to the calculated and yet oh-so-demure young man before her.   
  
He raised an eyebrow, apparently amused as a miniscule tint of scarlet rose to the apples of his cheeks. Ha! Selphie danced in her mind. I made him blush!   
"Don't flatter yourself." he murmured, the bell sounding off as they exited the elevator. "Just because I'm a gentleman does *not* mean I'm attracted to you." he paused, eyes travelling to her legs. "You're too short for my taste."  
"Hey, don't diss the shorties!" she howled, nearly tripping over herself in an attempt to smack his shoulder again. Instead, the toe of her boot lodged itself beneath a scrap of metal, sending her tumbling to the ground. Seifer caught her wrist just in time, yanking her towards him.  
"Can't have you breaking those short little legs of yours now can we?" he grinned patronizingly, as if he was explaining why he chose to save her.  
"Nope, not while we're trying to escape." she agreed. They rushed through the exit and towards the cliff, veering off the given path and scrambling uphill. Seifer betrayed his nature by holding out a hand to his partner for support. Selphie took it gratefully and hefted herself up the slope.   
"Hurry." he ordered tersely, already pacing himself ahead of her. She skittered after him, keeping her cool as best as she could under the circumstances they faced.  
They reached the apex of the hill and started back down on the leftmost side. Selphie almost lost her ground several times on the rugged stone pathway, always managing to catch herself in mid-fall. She considered falling on purpose to see if Seifer might turn to help her, but she kept a firm mindset that too much play makes Selphie a dead girl. Ah, how I love my personal variations of old sayings, she thought, fighting to keep herself from giggling out loud.   
  
"Seifer," she panted as they reached the bridge, her heart pounding furiously in her head. He turned around, curious to see if she was injured. "Don't you think we should go back and see if they're alright?"  
He waved a hand dismissively. "Why bother? Puberty Boy apparently finds himself to be more fit as a leader than me. Let's see how he does under pressure."  
"Argh!" she cried out, fighting to keep her balance under control. "You are so difficult! I don't even feel like dealing with you anymore!"  
"Now you know what it's like to be graced with your unwanted company." he replied, reluctantly waiting for her. She was running out of energy, her stamina tested to the limits. She couldn't endure much more of this without collapsing in a tired heap. Sensing her distress, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along the rest of the way.  
"What's that sound?" she asked at the admission of a vociferous tremor.   
"Don't know, don't wanna stick around and find out." Seifer replied, clutching her hand a little more tightly, almost forcing her to follow him.   
"Some leader you are!" Selphie spat, trying to snake out of his grasp. It was no use; he was far stronger than she was and she really didn't have the desire to be left behind. Besides, it was almost enjoyable, the feel of his long fingers enclosing her smaller ones.   
"Listen, I'm not gonna risk our lives to go back and see if Puberty Boy and the Chickenwuss are still alive and kicking. If you knew anything about Squall, you'd know he was one hell of a fighter. He'll pull through, you've got nothin' to worry about."  
"If you say so." she shrugged doubtfully, relinquishing control of her body and letting Seifer drag her towards shore. Their vessel was waiting in the waters, a stoic, unwavering image that Selphie just wanted to hold in her mind forever. They would escape! She almost wanted to run right up to the transport itself and wrap her arms around the unfeeling metal. Never had she felt such relief after an adrenaline rush.  
  
Quistis was at the wheel, affrightment and concern creasing her delicate brow as Seifer made his way onto the vessel, assisting Selphie aboard as well.  
"Seifer, where is the rest of your squad?" she demanded, obviously trying to keep her temper simmered down.   
"We were separated." he replied indifferently. "This girl --" he jerked his thumb at Selphie. "--also got separated from her squad. We found each other and headed for the vessel. I wasn't about to lose my life on this godforsaken island."  
Quistis opened her mouth to say something, but was silenced at the sight of Squall and Zell rushing towards the shore. Selphie and several other SeeD candidates raced ftowards the front rail, leaning over to watch the two boys as they desperately kicked up sand. As they came within 10 feet of the transport, the entire Dollet TV tower was engulfed in a crimson blaze, thick undertones of orange and azure licking the black sky. Squall flew to the ground, arms shielding his head from any debris that might come in contact with the shore. When the initial shock of the explosion died down, both remaining members of Squad B jumped aboard the vessel, and Quistis pulled out of the shore without a second thought.  
  
"You'll get yours Seifer." Zell growled hotly before retreating from the deck. Squall, as always, remained the emotionless pillar. Seifer had no words of dischord to impart upon his spikey-haired nemesis. Instead he folded his arms across the smooth rail, watching in a mixture of awe and fear at the immense flames. Selphie hesitated for a split second before going to join him.  
"It's pretty." she commented after a moment of silence.  
"Yeah, I like fire too." Seifer's distant reply came. She bit back a chuckle.   
"I wasn't talking about the fire. I meant the ocean. It's beautiful."  
"Oh." he made a face. "I guess."  
"What's the matter?" she grinned playfully, poking at his side. He drew away, giving her the evil-eye. "You always get so sullen around pretty girls?"  
"Keep telling yourself that." he advised with a certain sneer of distaste. A spell of silence was cast as they both stared out at the glassy surface. Selphie was ready to make a snide remark about his heavy breathing, but she found herself at ease just standing there with him. Normally she would be flaunting herself silly trying to impress him, but with this guy, Hyne knew there was no use fighting for his attention. He was painfully self-absorbed and overzealous to boot. If he wasn't so damn cute, she wouldn't be standing here right now. Besides, it was fun to tease him. Unlike Squall, he actually teased back!  
  
The sea breeze swept her hair from the nape of her neck, tickling her nose and causing her to sneeze.  
"Katchoo!" she exploded, a dainty hand flying up to cover her mouth.  
"Watch it," Seifer grunted, brushing off his sleeve. "I don't wanna get sick."  
Selphie feigned a fit of gasping coughs, making sure to bury her face in Seifer's shoulder as she did so.  
"Dammit!" he cursed, pushing her off and wrinkling his nose at her giggles.   
"Oh relax, it's not like I have cooties or anything! Sheesh, you boys and your elementary school superstitions."  
He rolled his eyes, but she pretended not to notice. It was far easier to remain oblivious than it was to call him on every action he made.  
"So," she changed the subject, glad that he hadn't thrown up his hands in exasperation and left her. "Think you passed?"  
"Huh?" the snort was less than graceful.  
"The exam. D'you think you passed it?" she paused. "Think you became a SeeD?"  
His eyes gave way to a world of uncertainty for a nanosecond, shifting effortlessly to reveal unnerving tranquility.  
"Of course I did." he gave her an appraising glare. "Don't tell me *you* expect to pass."  
"And just what's that supposed to mean?" she winked in return, pinching the tip of his nose.   
He batted at her hand. "Exactly what I said. It's that kind of stupidity that would get you killed on the battlefield."  
"Oh!" she clutched her chest in mock horror. "Oh, are you insulting my intelligence? The nerve!"  
Seifer raised a skeptical eyebrow. "With any luck you might struggle as an actress though."  
The little brunette cracked up, clasping her hands together and twirling around giddily.   
"You're so mean!"  
  
His face twisted up in a displeasing grimace at her word choice, idly drumming his fingers against the brass rail.  
"Aren't you going to defend yourself?" she asked cutely, sticking out her bottom lips as if she were a child pleading her mother for candy. Seifer just rested his chin in his hand.  
"Go away."  
"Booyaka!" she yelped, leaning back on her elbows and keeping her soft gaze trained on him. "If you really wanted me gone, you'd've left a long time ago buddy!" she lowered her voice a little. "I can tell when people are enjoying my company. And you sir, are one of those people."  
"Shut up." he snapped, and Selphie narrowed her eyes, moving her hands to rest commandingly on her hips.  
"What did you say?" she demanded, eyebrows knitting together. She tried to look angry but it wasn't working out; probably because anger was not a trait that suited Selphie's cheerful disposition. And besides, why assume an emotion that you weren't feeling?  
"I told you to shut up." he replied airily, raking a hand through his blond locks. Selphie stuck her tongue out at him.  
"And what if I don't?" she challenged. He turned to look at her, half in wry amusement, half in curiosity. Maybe Selphie was no psych major, but she could read Seifer like a book. He might have feigned disinterest, but she reveled in the fact that she ruffled his feathers quite successfully.   
"Then I'll make you."  
"Ooooh!" Selphie waved her hands in a bored, 'oh-big-whoop' fashion. "And how do you plan on doing that Mr. I'm-so-cool?"  
Fire flashed in his eyes; apparently, Seifer Almasy was not one to be the butt of jokes, at least not without consequence. He reached out and yanked her roughly by the arm, pulling her close to him. She tried to squirm out of his grasp, but was hushed by a firm kiss. Now, what was one to do with temptation, sans give in? Smiling internally, Selphie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back.  
  
The End  
  
A/N: Just on a side note, I didn't intend for this to be romantic; hell, I don't even intend for the two of them to form any sort of relationship whatsoever. But I wanted to portray an accurate account of a Seifer/Selphie pairing, and since they remain in-character for the most part, I really didn't have the time nor the will to make this romantic. I cut it off at the kiss just cause it seemed like a logical place to end it. Anyways, this is *just* a challenge, so don't sue me if you absolutely hate the idea of this couple! 


End file.
